The thought of starting a personal blog on the internet for everybody to see is a really daunting one to me, since I plan this to be a diary of some sort, a replacement for my posts on Twitter and Discord, as well as a repository for personal thoughts and write-ups on technical projects, dream diaries and other various types of media I particularly enjoy.
So the ultimate goal is to distance myself from big social media platforms, and basically provide content to this web page.
The reason for this transition is a very personal one. I have very few friends. To be frank, only around 3. The rest are just shallow acquaintances who don’t really care for me, my feelings or anything I put out on the internet, and I am sick and tired having to see their profiles on Discord, Twitter, etc. on a daily basis reminding me of bad memories, or certain traits I dislike about their personality, so I want to distance myself from these people who trigger me, but still be able to post content to the internet.
A brief introduction to myself
If you happen to believe in the pseudoscience called Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I am categorized as something between INTJ and INFJ.
I am extremely introverted, I strive for perfection and one of my biggest traits is that I am a lone wolf, meaning if I can do something on my own, I will do my best to do it on my own without asking for help if it is not necessary. I have a lot of inner thoughts and feelings, and a possess a lot empathy (which is sometimes wish I wouldn’t). Nonetheless, I am very open-minded, eager to try out new things I come across and eager to give people a try becoming one of my friends, even if it rarely succeeds.
As a computer science undergraduate (2 courses missing 😩) I am also eager to learn new technologies! In my free time I am currently studying the syntax and semantics of the Rust programming language which I am very much enjoying! I work a part time job doing web development as a junior software developer mainly using TypeScript and React, which I am also enjoying a lot. I really couldn’t be more happy in these regards; I am having fun doing my job at the moment.
The only aspect of my life which is a disaster is my social life. Having a global pandemic going on, working from home, and a disgust for online dating apps, being introverted, being brutally honest is not helping me finding friends really.
I also consider myself a misanthrope.
One of my favourite quotes regarding this topic is the following:
So treibt das Bedürfnis der Gesellschaft, aus der Leere und Monotonie des eigenen Innern entsprungen, die Menschen zueinander; aber ihre vielen widerwärtigen Eigenschaften und unerträglichen Fehler stoßen sie wieder voneinander ab.
To give it more context, in 1851 the author Arthur Schopenhauer writes about a group of porcupines seeking warmth by gathering closely together, but hurting each other in the process, which the author eventually relates to the human nature of seeking social closeness.
And that is it for my very first post! I hope you enjoyed getting to know the reason for this website and a little about myself.